Music is My Muse

I’m going to only say this once and be DONE with it.

Well since i’m not your everything, how about I’ll be nothing - Beyonce

I think I need to apply for Tough Love or something because I am horrible in choosing men. Old boy and new boy kindly screwed me over in the end. New boy by walking out on his daughter and I. Old boy by playing a game with my emotions for two years.

Old boy and I (More I than him) decided to call it quits FOR GOOD. It was time. I was done. It was clear that it wasn’t going to work or even start for that matter. Nor would I want to be a relationship with him after the way he reacted to a situation that was HIS FAULT! After he called me emotional, selfish, yelled and screamed at me, when they were in the wrong to begin with, I was the end of my rope. Two years and not much relationship wise to show for it honestly.  I can’t deal with people who can’t see when they are in the wrong, apologize about it and move on. I used to feel like I didn’t want to screw anything up so that he can’t go and say it was my fault in the end that it didn’t work. but guess what..

You can say whatever you like/ As long as we just say goodbye/ Blame it on me / Say it’s my fault / Say that I left you outside in the cold with a broken heart / I really don’t care…I ain’t cryin’ no more / Say I’m a liar, a cheater say anything that you want / As long as it’s over - Chrisette Michele

I’m honestly pretty exhausted about the whole thing. You ever work so hard at something that it just exhausts your entire being. That is how I honestly felt. I wanted to just lay down and not get up for a LONG time lol The other day Erykah Badu wrote on her twitter page “Quicker u learn and apply Quicker u get to next lesson.” Well i’m quite ready for the next lesson. I’ve learned, i’ve applied and i’m ready for the next lesson.

And I, I’m officially missing you - Tamia

I had a LONG conversation with my best friend on our Mommy’s Day Out and we talked about what’s next for us. What type of men that we wanted and all I could think of is I want someone to love me like I love them.

I honestly don’t think that’s too much to ask for.