Music is My Muse

but my quiet nights will be spent alone (c) Stevie Wonder

He’s gone. We broke up.

All my posts have started out about how I haven’t written in so long. It’s true I haven’t :(. I feel so bad. I think more guilty than bad. Let me explain how my mind works. I start typing and immediately something else jumps in and I click off the screen to come back… and never come back. However today i’m not clicking off the screen until i’ve gotten it all out.

Things are steady. I’m happy.

The last 21 things that has happened since I’ve updated you:

1. Got 2 tattoos. A quote “Love is the Light. Forward is the Motion.” on my shoulders.
2. Planned about 20 events. 2nd job has me WORKING!
3. Laughed A LOT.
4. Smiled A LOT.
5. Taught Simone the ABC song.
6. Planned a trip to Marco Island w/ my sweetie (yes he’s still here. my ride or die babe).
7. Went to the Bahamas for a girls weekend.
8. Started my own business/brand.
9. Started another blog (www.beautifulbrowngirls.com)
10. Hired an assistant for my BBG Business.
11. Prepared to move into my new place. Bigger place! 3 bdrms. (give my sweetie and I some much needed privacy from the lil one)
12. Thought about having another baby. (yea I know that’s a biggie..no babies until a wedding though)
13. Threw out my 5 year plan and appreciated the now.
14. Played Jill Scott’s new CD about a billion times on repeat.
15. Found a new lounge LoveHate that I LOVE.
16. Jammed every morning to VH1 Soul with Simone.
17. Looked for a puppy (I WANT A DOG! Sweetie says no because dog & cat will fight, don’t tell him i’m still looking though )
18. Bought two goldfish (named them Tia & Tamera)
19. Fell in love with my Janet Jackson channel on Pandora.
20. Lived.
21. Loved.

Thanks for riding with me ya’ll I appreciate it

Waiting on my babe to get home. Bored.com lol figured I should give some type of update. Happy. Healthy. Loved. Living. Good things come to those who wait.

Babe is back on full duty and back on the truck and back to the 24 hour shifts… miss him when he’s gone.

Thank you Lord for all you’ve done for me!

Moving down the streams of my lifetime
Pulls the fascination in my sleeve
Cooling off the fire of my longing
Boiling off my cold within his heat
Melting down the walls of inhibition
Evaporating all of my fears
Baptizing me into complete submission
Dissolving my condition with his tears

[Chorus]
He’s just like the water
I ain’t felt this way in years

(Lauryn Hill, Just Like Water)

Such a powerful scripture. Just be still and know it!

Today I write.

I wrote that in my to do list for today. Today I write. Sorry i’ve been MIA a little on the writing tip. Sometimes my ADD gets the best of me. Today’s a good day, a great day. I’ve been feeling so good lately its a little scary but very freeing. Finally figured out that what you need is provided before the need is discovered … Rest Assured & Walk In Confidence. Finally understanding that is such a beautiful feeling I could cry honestly!

Quick run down of the past few months: Have a beautiful partner in life. Firefighter and I are one. My love. I quit my job. I know you have to re-read that one again lol I’ll give you a minute. Maybe I should re-phrase that as I gave notice. Not fully done yet but there is finally an end to this. I loved the music industry, but like a relationship “I think I’m just about over being your girlfriend” (c) Chrisette Michelle. Same way I felt leaving New York City. Its so weird how life is set up on this PERFECT path. Understand that the path is perfect. I was in my own way so much I was making it so much more difficult for myself than it needed to be. So happy I know how to get out of my own way now.

2011 has been such a beautiful year for me. I claimed it! Dec 31st I met my love (Firefighter) Jan 1st I made a resolution to “just be” and life has been so easy breezy since then. Not to say there won’t be and haven’t been storms, but my outlook on a storm is so much different these days. I’m happy in storms I look forward to that blessing that is birthed afterward. Some people ask how can you up and quit your stability. I’m stable, I have plans, I have someone who held my hand the whole way through it and supported me (thanks babe) never once did he ask what about money, etc. This first thing he said was “We will be fine” (heart him). I have a beautiful daughter that is growing into such a smart, pleasant young lady right before my eyes. (I miss her when she’s in school). I have a beautiful circle of family and friends that support me and love me. Things are good!

SN: So weird — Chrisette’s Song “I’m over being your girlfriend” came on Pandora just as I finished typing this HAHA! Perfect path i tell you!